“The suspect” was tall but not intimidating.
Next of kin described him as “Sad Santa”.
He was a blue-chip backed retired civil servant with no friends or family.
Lived in an old refrigerator warehouse by the docks with his dear pet.
There was nothing jolly about this case.
The suspect was first seen speeding away from the road-stopped girl’s mother.
Drove a one-of-a-kind red Mustang with neon green pin stripes down all sides.
He was on his way to buy ice cream and Ice.
The first blood sample was collected from the drive of a lowly monitored minor fish in the drug pool.
The second pool was recovered at the outer-burb gas station where a digital receipt trail was kept.
The suspect had every opportunity in the world to wash the bonnet but chose to enter a binge.
Dt. Staples and PD Chaffe found the suspect asleep with a half-melted tub of ice cream on his belly.
He was reprimanded to a cell and sentenced to court the following season.
Exert from Judge Heresay:
‘Judge Miss-Mercy, I’m so honoured to serve you in court today…’
‘Toxicology reports found the defendant to be under illicit substances, the jury finds your drug taking to be from the influence of self-medicating after years of post-traumatic stress due to the job.’
‘If it weren’t for your term as state judge and executioner there’d be more drugs behind the wheel.’
‘I find the defendant not guilty of manslaughter while under the influence of illicit substances.’
‘Court finds the crossing kid’s parent’s negligent on two accounts of not holding hands.’
‘Bosh!’ goes the hammer.
The suspect releases, ‘Merry Crime Dismiss!’
‘Because I’m in such a festive mood, here’s what I’ll do:’
‘I here pass on to you, Judge ol’ boy, three square meals a day, exercise, and a social life again.’
‘Court sentences you to… UNJUSTICE!’
The suspect couldn’t swallow his sentence and had a pulmonary embolism in the red suit and cuffs.